BEEF BOYS – Melted Like A Witch


Man, I really love The Bronx. Over the years, I’ve owned a couple of their records and seen ‘em live a few times. They always put on a helluva show and their tunes are catchy as all get out. Their new record…. Wait, what? My editor just informed me that this album isn’t The Bronx, but is, in fact, a Canadian band called BEEF BOYS. Wow, I never would have known. Their album Melted Like A Witch took me so far back to the good ole days of the aughts that I was confused.

Sorry about that. On to the album at hand.

BEEF BOYS are based out of Peterborough, Ontario and man, do they bring the rock. With barely a song over three minutes, they pack a lot of riffs and hooks into such a small space in time. They’re a three-piece that captures a solid garage feeling with each track. This is without a doubt, one of the more energetic albums I’ve had the privilege of listening to this year; I’m very curious to hear how this translates to a live show. Probably the most ear-shaking example from the album is track seven, “Dirty Boys, Dirty Girls.” It’s two minutes and twenty-five seconds of pure perfection. Drummer Brandon Root is planted on the chorus with punches on the down beat. I doubly enjoyed the way he hammered the open high-hat, opposed to the crash cymbal.

Even when the band slows down their sound, on songs such as “CBGB’s USA” and “Golden Arches,” they still retain a drive that fits. Every track harnesses their brand of distortion dripping surf punk. They’ve clearly found their niche and the band blossoms because if it. One thing I don’t like is vocalist Germ Sperman’s attempt at singing in their ‘softer songs,’ such as “Golden Arches.” It’s often offkey and can get cringe worthy at times. That’s not to say Sperman’s a bad singer. When he’s projecting his voice with enough force to blow his guts out of his ass, he’s amazing, carrying a tone and range that fits within their niche. My advice is to stick there.

As far as the mix goes, it’s as lo-fi garage as they come. I liked that take on it. It left a lot of the dirt in the tunes and captured a great feel for the band. My only beef with it is that the bass sometimes gets lost in the mix and it could have benefited by being up a smidge more.

Those are my thoughts. Drop me yours in the comments below and we can discuss the finer points of what it is exactly that makes a Boy Beefy.

Written by Aaron Deck
*edited by Danielle Kenedy

About Aaron Deck 84 Articles
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Aaron Deck, and he lived in a magical land called Near Halifax. He was quiet and thoughtful (Okay, loud and rambunctious), and learned the wondrous skill of playing piano at the age of 8. Once puberty hit, upon learning that piano isn’t considered ‘cool’, he quickly transferred over to the traditional art of playing Rock ‘n Roll guitar. In 2008, he migrated West to Montreal, where he has played in multiple punk rock bands, including the fantabulous Ol’ School Johnny. He was often not recognized to be part of the band when selling merch. He currently has a horror short story collection out called "14 Needles", available through Amazon. Oh yeah, and he sometimes has really rad living room dance parties.

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