Joe Nameless – Deafh Kart Tardogeddun

Joe Nameless - Deafh Kart Tardogeddun

2/10

Self-identifying as “tardcore”, Pennsylvania’s Joe Nameless seems poised to become the least relevant band of 2018 with their newly released EP, Deafh Kart Tardogeddun. A strange mix of mainstream biker-metal and eccentric hardcore influences, the record takes aim at the iconic sound of legendary comedy-rockers Green Jellÿ but falls far short of the mark. Lacking charisma, uniqueness, and technical proficiency, this release is the musical equivalent of a wet cigarette.

At least they don’t take themselves too seriously.

The good:

Their guitarist and drummer (whose monikers are “Dark Chef” and “RokCok Battlebulge,” respectively) are decent players and occasionally cobble together a riff that will make you forget how bad their aforementioned pseudonyms are. These guys also have a penchant for luchador costumes and semi-nudity, which is pretty cool and supplies a welcome distraction from the cringe-worthy songwriting. Additionally, the EP’s cover photo is good for a chuckle.

The bad:

The release kicks off with a cookie-cutter intro track, much like early Metallica, if Lars Ulrich was in charge of the musical direction and the whole band were still reeling from a recent Whip-It session. The vocals then break into a chanting, “Hell yeah! Shit yeah! Fuck yeah!” and any hopes for a listenable experience quickly fly out the window.

This lyrical audacity continues on songs like “Chef Boy Are You Fucked” and “Mexican Horror Story”. The lead vocalist (“El Señor Ocho”- ugh) has a strong affinity for grade-school subject matter and boner jokes. There are enough references to shitting one’s pants that I’m convinced he’s writing from personal experience. The sonic quality of the vocals themselves is akin to watching your drunken grandfather stumble through pickup lines while hitting on your girlfriend at Christmas dinner – at first, his delivery is hilariously innocent, but pretty soon everyone at the table is fantasizing that a sudden, massive heart attack will end the awkwardness.

The record’s technical issues – misplaced drum hits, audible clicks and pops from bad edits, vocal inconsistencies – are another constant distraction. The whole release sounds like it was tracked in a flooded crawlspace. In an age where professional-sounding records can be produced on a laptop, there’s simply no excuse for this.

My apologies for the frankness, guys, but that shit just doesn’t fly.

Without any real progression or development, Deafh Kart Tardogeddun simply plods along with the same clunky riffs and lackluster performances for nineteen long minutes. It’s pretty obvious that Joe Nameless had fun making the record, and it’s too bad the same can’t be said for the listening experience. Let’s see where this band goes in future and whether they can address these issues.

Written by Mickey Ellsworth
*edited by Kate Erickson

About Mickey Ellsworth 11 Articles
Mickey is a Hamilton, Ontario-based recording engineer, barbecue-enthusiast and semi-serious distance runner. Occasional guitarist for garbage-punk band, Deck Piss, he's a decent conversationalist and owns exactly one velvet dinner jacket. At 16, he got into abrasive bands like Minor Threat, Operation Ivy and The Unseen - mainly to piss off his cop-father. Nowadays, he mostly listens to small-band jazz records, local hardcore and his gf's playlists. Mickey is a rye whiskey drinker. Like a total dick, he orders a Manhattan at every new cocktail bar he visits, then bases his entire opinion of said cocktail bar on that single, fucking drink. He's been thinking about adopting a puppy, but isn't sure if he'd measure up as a father-figure.

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