90s score: 9.5/10
2020 score: 9.5/10
To the depths of a great love affair between all things funny, disgusting, and metal as fuck, we go to Scumdogs of the Universe. It’s arguably the best GWAR album in existence, and I’ll be forever thankful for the first time I heard it. Imagine being faced with something that’s dead center of satisfyingly well-written metal and comedy genius when you’re sixteen, lonely, and pretty effing baked. To say I was amazed would be the understatement of the century. This savior of a record put me in an alien death pod headed straight for obsession, and that was before I found out they show up in full alien demon attire, spray you with blood and other possible bodily fluids, and decapitate famous people onstage. They were and still are a serious phenomenon and so is their music.
Every single track on this record is nearly perfect; with amazing riffs, catchy (and unbelievably genius) lyrical work, performances of perfection… there’s just so much obscene content and so much attitude you could feel it right through your speakers. Even when the content is beyond ridiculous and almost BAD, it’s GOOD. There’s so much intensity behind the performance on this album, that if you close your eyes, you could imagine yourself directly in the hellish realm that every song makes you a part of. There’s no deciding much whilst listening to GWAR, it really is like being smacked in the face with blood and guts and being happy about it. Notably songs like “Sick of You” that are painfully catchy and addictive, “Slaughterama” which features a game show-like scenario where one stereotype is executed after another, and “Black and Huge” where you can only imagine the subject matter being on the extreme end of outrageous. My favourite lyrics include, “You know I’m totally flaccid!”, “I only suck the souls that are underage,” and “I’ll fuck your ass ‘till it’s rimless!”
Pretty glorious if you ask me.
To put it lightly, if you need some dirty fucking metal, a completely unique thing that’s the closest thing to intellectual filth and sexual garbage you can find, you need Scumdogs of the Universe in your life. This record probably isn’t for everyone (actually, I totally confirm it’s not for everyone) but if you’re even mildly twisted, it might be exactly what you’ve been looking for.
Written by Talia Plante
*Edited by Dominic Abate